24"x24" - acrylic on canvas with gold and copper leaf
As we find ourselves in the midst of Holy Week, I’m reflecting on the (daily) Holy Week that comes with being an Enneagram 4.
The soul of an Enneagram 4 can be tricky to navigate. My inner landscape is wide, deep and compelling. Though much like a rollercoaster, there are few, if any, "fun and games" to be found. (Those were gifted to the Enneagram 7s 🙄 #blessthem). It's not family friendly in here. It may not even be dog friendly.
Glennon Doyle, who inspired this painting, describes her own inner depth as "a black hole canyon of murkiness that exists inside of me. I could jump in but my job is to stay on the land side of this manhole or canyon of swirly dark energy. But there is something seductive about the canyon. [Something so effortless in succumbing to it]. It's not all terror and weeping and gnashing of teeth. It's a little bit purple and swirly and sparkly, too... and it's so hard and it requires so much work to stay on the land."
Like this week’s journey to the Cross, my canyon has betrayed me, lied to me, told me the truth, loved me and resurrected me. It is both dizzying and isolating, grounding and connective, engulfing and empowering. Sometimes it's the valley of shadows and sometimes it's the warm glow of understanding.
At all times, it's a source of knowing and unknowing, and discerning the difference has become my daily work. This painting meditates on my power to hold all that is heavy (and dammit, I can hold a lottt of heavy) while leaning into the light... while staying on the land.
Happy journeys, everyone.